So what does doing mushrooms, DMT, and MDMA, have to do with finding God and rebuilding your life?
Well in my experience… Everything. And I’ll share some of my stories using these powerful medicines with you here today…
But first, I’d like to invite you to reply to this email, (or any email in this series), because I’ll be reading all of your comments and questions personally.
If you have a question, or just want to send in a comment, please send it in because I’d love to hear from you. 🙏
It Was Like Seeing Through The Matrix…
In a moment of pure fear and desperation, I called up my friend “Adam” for some advice… I’d recently heard him talking about the healing benefits of psychedelics, and specifically MDMA.
It was 2019 and I had no idea what was happening to me… Only that I was starting to lose my mind, and no one knew why.
He said a “mental reset” using MDMA might be helpful, and put me in touch with a couple who could help facilitate that in a safe way.
A few weeks later, I found myself laying on a table, pulling down an eye mask and a set of headphones after swallowing a carefully prepared capsule of pharmaceutical grade MDMA.
About an hour later, my body was flooded with a sudden sense of peace and relaxation unlike anything else I’d ever experienced, and the music coming through the headphones simply came alive…
It just penetrated straight into my soul in a way I didn’t know was possible.
My breathing slowed, and for the first time in over a year, the panic in my mind and nervous system melted away.
But what happened next would change my life forever…
You see, MDMA is what some people call an “empathaogen”…
It’s not a hallucinogen like mushrooms, Ayahuasca, or LSD… It doesn’t alter the world around you or your reality.
Instead, it releases a massive amount of serotonin into the brain which creates an equally massive sense of safety, peace, oneness, empathy, and forgiveness within you.
This sense of systemic safety also allows the brain to unlock traumatic memories and experiences that it had perviously stored away.
And as a result of this mental unlocking of “the vault”, I was instantly overcome with something I can only describe as “x-ray vision…”
I remember raising my arm up and telling my facilitators, “Holy shit, I can see EVERYTHING…”
I could go back to any memory in my life, (especially the hard ones), and see exactly what the purpose of that experience was.
Trauma gets created in the mind and body when we have an emotional experience so intense that we don’t know how to process it.
So the brain compartmentalizes that memory and those emotions, and disassociates us as a safety mechanism.
Many times, it will store them in your subconscious… Where they will secretly and silently affect every decision you make in your life when it comes to people, relationships, or money.
The power of MDMA is that it allows us to go back and revisit these experiences with an entirely new sense of understanding, empathy, and love for ourselves, and the people who hurt us.
The kid three times my size in middle school that physically threatened me whenever I spoke? I could now see the pain that he was in and got a glimpse into the life he had at home.
This new sense of whole-system safety allows the stuff that’s been stored away in your subconscious to surface for the first time so it can be resolved in matter of hours, instead of years of trying to access it through traditional talk therapy that only interacts with the conscious mind.
Simply put, MDMA allows you to go back and look at those experiences through the unconditionally loving, forgiving eyes of God.
This allows you to see the good that came from them as well.
Strength, drive, ambition, boundaries… Those are all benefits that come from traumatic experiences like bullying, physical and sexual abuse, abandonment, and neglect…
This unique opportunity allows you to literally re-write those memories and those experiences into something positive that happened for you.
And when you do, the trauma gets processed, and it leaves the body and mind…
Now As For My Journey, The Real Breakthrough Came About Halfway Into The 5 Hour Experience…
And that’s when the fascinators took off my headphones, and asked me if there was a little forgiveness in there for myself.
Annnnnddd… CRACK.
The emotions and tears just started flooding out of a place that I didn’t know existed… Apparently there was an entire mansion in my mind dedicated to housing a lifetime of self-judgement…
All of the “I’m not good enough’s”, “wish I would have’s”, “wish I wouldn’t have’s” and “I can’t believe I did that’s…”
Until that moment, I didn’t even realize that I needed self-forgiveness, or that so much self-judgement had been stored up in my system.
By the time that 4-5 hour journey was over, I realized that my life would never be the same. There was “Mike” before, and “Mike” after, and there was no going back to who I was.
It unlocked the doors to entirely new levels of depth in life… Levels of emotional and spiritual experience that I didn’t even know existed.
Over The Next 3-4 years, I’d Continue To Use These Powerful Medicines In My Healing Journey…
9 Ketamine IV’s, 3 DMT journeys, 12 MDMA sessions, 2 San Pedro, and 3 psilocybin…
These experiences and the benefits I received from them were the gifts from the toxic mold…
Thanks to that exposure and brain injury…
I got to let go of a lifetime of emotional baggage…
I got to heal the wounds that had held me back from building meaningful relationships…
And I got to experience what I believe is the ultimate win that any of us can achieve in life… Genuine self-love.
In Part 3, I’ll dive into the life-changing ways this work altered my relationship with money, but now I want to provide you with some advice and guidance around these substances if you’d like to explore these tools for yourself.
What You Need To Know About Using Psychedelics…
First and foremost, these are incredibly powerful substances and tools.
1: They need to be approached with the utmost levels of respect and reverence.
Using them without an experienced guide is like walking into the Amazon jungle as a city-dwelling gringo alone and expecting to have a positive experience. 🐅
If you do not respect the jungle and the animals within it, you will learn that lesson the hard way.
2: These substances should only be used under the supervision of an experienced guide or therapist.
These are incredibly powerful experiences and unexpected emotions can arise that will need support.
There are also important health and safety concerns that need to be accounted for…
For example, MDMA is an illegal drug also referred to as “Molly” or “ecstasy”.
But in this specific use-case, we’re using masks and headphones to isolate our senses and go inwards, instead of putting ourselves in an outwardly stimulating environment.
The end result is a radically different experience, even if you’ve used this substance in a recreational setting before.
But it does bring quality control risks into the equation…
The stuff consumed in clubs is often laced with impurities and can even contain deadly fentanyl.
The MDMA used for therapeutic purposes should only come from trusted, pharmacy-grade sources.
NOTE: MDMA should not be used if someone is on an anti-depressant, MOA inhibitor, or SSRI.
Which is another reason why it’s critically important to work with an experienced facilitator.
And then you have substances like Aya and DMT that will literally open portals to the spirit world which could be positive, or not so great.
If you don’t believe me, I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t have either until I experienced it.
I can’t stress this enough… Do NOT do this kind of work with these kinds of substances on your own and without proper supervision.
3: Every substance has its ideal use-case…
You want to make sure you choose the right tool for the job.
For example, with my brain and nervous system in a place of extreme fear and fight or flight, MDMA was the perfect tool for me because it created safety in my system.
Ketamine and DMT? They were the wrong tools because they force you to let go of control which in my specific circumstance, just caused more trauma. (They can be incredibly beneficial for others).
The active compound in Ayahuasca is DMT which is why I have not pursued that medicine yet, and will not until my system is back into full balance and coherence.
4: Conscious preparation and intention-setting before a ceremony is critical.
Setting your intentions will align your conscious and subconscious mind on your intended goals.
With that being said, once you set your intentions, it’s critically important to let any desire for control or an outcome go completely.
Trust your mind and where it wants to take you.
5: Know how to navigate the experience…
Once you’re on this ride, there’s no getting off until the ride is over which could be 4-8 hours later).
So you need to know how to travel in these worlds before stepping foot into them.
For example…
The more you fight the experience or try to retain control, the worse it will get.
You MUST let go of control and swim with the current instead of against it.
When I was in this situation, remembering that…
“I’m safe. I chose to have this experience and I’m here for my greatest good…” was incredibly useful.
Your mind may show you things you don’t like or don’t want to look at…
Myself and many of my friends have seen stuff straight out of hellish nightmares. These kinds of visions are usually your subconscious trying to communicate its fears or pain to you.
Approaching these visions with curiosity like…
“Wow, that’s fascinating! What else do you want me to see?”
…Is the key to moving through them gracefully.
Then there’s aways the good old fall-back of…
“Just breathe mutha-fucka” 😂
Which has come in handy on several occasions… 😜
And finally, whenever you’re in fear or doubt, just send whatever you’re experiencing LOVE.
Coming up against a demonic black-cloud that wants to devour all life in the universe?
Send it love.
Having a particularly difficult time? Send yourself love.
That is the ultimate key to navigating any experience that arises.
With all of this being said, I would highly recommend MDMA as someone’s first step into the world of psychedelics.
It is loving, kind, gentle, and predictable compared to the other options.
My next suggestion would be a low-dose psilocybin, with Aya and DMT being reserved for people with some prior experience.
6: The Ceremony Is Only The Beginning
Of The Experience And The “Work…”
There’s a reason why this pursuit of deep personal growth and transformation is often referred to as, “doing the work…”
Integrating the experience in the days and weeks that follow is 100% required.
You absolutely must have the support a coach who can help you process what you experienced and learned.
Your brain will be in a very open and neuroplastic state which is your window for real transformation.
If you don’t have this kind of support and just go back to your hold life and habits, you’re not taking real advantage of this life-changing opportunity.
If you or someone you know needs an Integration coach and don’t have one, I would recommend working with my wife Michelle.
She’s certified in NLP, Hypnotherapy, and Timeline Therapy.
She has years of personal experience with psychedelics, and supporting those who are going through their own integration process.
The transformations she’s help bring about in her clients over the past two years has been absolutely incredible to witness.
If you are interested in Integration Coaching, or Performance Coaching to up level your life, you can book an initial consult with her here.
I’ve really just scratched the surface of this topic and what I can share with you, so tomorrow we’ll continue and I’ll share how these experiences made a direct impact on our income…
Sincerely,
Mike Dillard
